Over the past years I have experimented extensively with limiting my social media usage. I went offline after eight for four weeks and even went as far as leaving my phone at home for a month.
Doing these bigger experiments has led to two things:
Deepened ongoing curiosity about these topics and a lot of mini-experiments;
Meaningful conversations when catching up with friends who are aware of what I’ve been up to.
So with my window open, candle and incense lit, clattering of the rain, mixed with a music recommendation you’ll find at the bottom of this newsletter, I'm typing out this list for you with 15 small interventions you can make to develop more agency over devices and apps designed to create addiction.
With gratitude to all the friends who shared what they’ve been trying.
Create a new account every year. Leave social media every year. Start over. As algorithms learn about you, they get better at drawing you in and holding your attention. Reset. Delete. Make a new account.
Time limits. You can set time limits on your devices for certain apps. There are even feature-rich apps that can help with that, track your streaks, and make it even harder to circumvent the limits. I enjoyed using Opal, but have also heard good things about Jomo, and Freedom.
Greyscale your phone. You can set your phone’s display to greyscale, which makes everything more boring to look at. I wish I could do this, but I use my phone’s camera & photos apps too much.
Scatter books. Put books around the house in strategic spots, maybe you’ll pick one of them up instead of your phone. It’s totally ok to read multiple books at the same time. Alternatively, you could spread out other wholesome hobby materials, like rubix cubes, pencils & notepads for doodling, etc.
Stop tapping through friends’ IG stories. You don’t need a parasocial relation with them: regularly catch up and learn what they’re thinking about and what they’re up to through actual conversation or shared hobbies.
Buy long cable chargers. Set a basic rule: your phone stays plugged in when you’re at home. Maybe there’s a 2-meter radius where you can use your phone. When you move outside of it, your phone stays there.
Stop sleeping with your phone. Maybe you’ve already had to be that person to tell a friend: hey, this relationship is toxic, stop sleeping with that person… Well, this time that friend is you. Lovingly encourage yourself create some distance. Stop inviting your phone into your bed, and if possible, your bedroom.
Keep your phone out of arm’s reach in general. Toss your phone just out of reach, so you have to stand up to reach it. Or if that’s not an option, put it in a bag, so it takes more work to get to it.
Develop hobbies that help you bide time instead of doomscrolling. Read up on birds, plants, train stations, bring pen & paper to doodle or write when on the go.
Leave your phone at home sometimes. Going to the shop? Walk around the block? Can you leave your phone at home for just a brief moment?
Unfollow. If there are accounts or things that really draw you in: unfollow them. For me, it was current affairs and politics, local music scene-related things, and friends. I did not actually unfollow; I just deleted my personal account and only have one I occasionally use for Calm & Fluffy, so an unfollow can also be “create a new account and don’t re-follow”.
Add discomfort. This won’t work for everyone, but you could experiment with making small rules like, I can only go on socials while I’m standing. This way you won’t crash into your couch or bed and stick there for hours before moving on to other things. The goal is to make sure the friction to switch to any another activity is as low as possible.
Brick your phone. There’s a piece of hardware called Brick that you can install in your home or office. You tap your phone on it and it blocks preselected apps and functions on your phone. I have friends who have put it at their home’s entrance or in their kitchen, and they tap it once they come home. To access social media again, they’ll have to return to it and tap it again.
Turn blocked distractions into something good. Calm & Fluffy is a family of clouds and perhaps the cutest cloud of all is the browser extension Mindful Block. It lets you select distracting websites, like social media, and when you surf to them it redirects you to search engines that clean oceans and plant trees. One more motivation not to disable your focus assistant •‿•
Leave social media altogether. It’s scary, until you do it. I’ve been there. Start with deactivating for a while. Then extend those periods. Then decide whether the cost of social media is worth the benefits.
I’m always interested in hearing how others deal with social media. Please feel free to leave a comment or get in touch directly.
Don’t be too tough on yourself if you’re not ready to make a big step or find yourself relapsing. These apps are designed to be addictive. It is not your fault.
Love yourself, it makes everything easier.
More ideas here:
ᕱᕱ For your ears ᕱᕱ
I may have saved the best ‘till last. You be the judge.
The moment I saw this recommendation by Stephan Kunze, who writes the wonderful zensounds 禅の音 newsletter, I jumped straight to Bandcamp to hear Jessica Roch’s album Human Music: Live Improvisations I. A beautiful release that connects ambient, minimalism, jazz, and classical.
Instant purchase. Read Stephan’s excellent interview with Jessica here.
I have left social media years ago and very happy with that. I'm not perfect though and still use my phone more than I'd like to. I'm a member of the library and have the libby app. Sure, reading on paper is 'better' but reading a book on your phone is better than scrolling on instagram (imo), so it could be a helpful tip for people who want to have better phone habits.
Thank you 🙏🏻